Islamic Parenting Tips: Teaching Your Children Good Character

HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN WITH GOOD CHARACTER

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Imagine you had to leave your little kid with a well-respected Shaykh for a week.

What behavior would you detest if your child displayed it?

More importantly, how would that behavior reflect on you as a parent?

Will it enhance or tarnish your reputation?

While pondering that, it is important to note that Allah enjoined good manners in several verses of the Qur’an. Allah said to our beloved prophet ﷺ:

فَبِمَا رَحۡمَةٍ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْۖ وَلَوۡ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ ٱلۡقَلۡبِ لَٱنفَضُّواْ مِنۡ حَوۡلِكَۖ فَٱعۡفُ عَنۡهُمۡ وَٱسۡتَغۡفِرۡ لَهُمۡ وَشَاوِرۡهُمۡ فِى ٱلۡأَمۡرِۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمۡتَ فَتَوَكَّلۡ عَلَى ٱللَّهِۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُتَوَكِّلِينَ

“And by the Mercy of Allâh, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allâh’s) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affairs. Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allâh, certainly, Allâh loves those who put their trust (in Him).”

[Sūrah Aal-e-Imran 3:159]

Today, society does everything possible to promote terrible behaviors and almost nothing to reinforce good ones.

This makes your job as a parent and educator even more important if you want to raise children with good characters. 

Here’s how:

1. TEACH THEM

Talk about Tawhīd. Talk about Sunnah. Advise them on honesty and kindness. 

Teach them to treat elders with respect. Teach them what to say in different occasions and how to say them.

Even if they don't fully comprehend, make it a habit to sit them down and talk. This strengthens the bond between you, establishing you as their primary teacher.

2. LEARN TO SAY NO

Be comfortable with your child's discomfort (if there's a valuable lesson in it). 

Don't grant every wish. Intentionally delay gratification. If you are too agreeable as a parent, your children will often grow up to be adults with no boundaries.

3. MODEL GOOD CHARACTER

Your children are watching.

Wake up early for Fajr. Go to the mosque for every prayer (or pray on time in case of a mother). 

Keep your house free of Gheebah (backbiting) and Nameemah (slandering). 

Treat others with respect. Smile at the people and talk kindly to them. 

Don’t litter the streets. Let them see you keep wraps and packages in your pocket or bag until you see a public trash can.

Your children are not just listening to your words; they are observing your actions and demeanor.

4. TEACH THEM GRATITUDE

Instill gratitude towards Allah for everything. 

Teach them to be grateful to Allah for Islam, for their eyes, for their arms, for their shelter, for their provisions, and many others.

Teach them to be grateful to people as well. When someone gift them a present, tell them to say “JazākumuLlahu khayran”.

Have them write appreciation notes to whoever helps them with anything. 

5. TEACH THEM HARD WORK

Don’t do for your kids what they can do for themselves. Provide tools, like a stool, instead of picking up a bag for them. 

Give them a list of chores they need to do everyday. Let them grow up with a sense of community service and responsibility.

As a parent, you are not merely a guide but a living example. Implement these lessons with purpose and consistency. 

May Allah bless your efforts and grant you pious children.

May the character you cultivate in them be a source of guidance and eternal joy.

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