Important Guidance for Sisters in Islam on Online Marriage Proposals and Polygyny
Human nature does not get old, this is important advice in none other than online marriage proposals and polygyny. It must be renewed and the reminders are important. Please read and share.I have a confession/advice to make here - marriage proposals online
This advice, I am making to my dear sisters in Islām, and I do this because I have experienced this as did others on this platform. This is not a form of shaming at all, just your brother watching out for you.
I have been on social media since 2015 and I have had sisters contact me privately. I wasn't born yesterday, when a sister casually contacts a brother who is an influencer, unless she genuinely has a question to ask, she is actually expressing interest in him directly or indirectly. Is anything wro3ng with that? Is anything wrong with a sister liking a brother? No, it is a matter of the heart. Now here's the thing.
The messaging that takes place is a type of seclusion. On social media, we are strangers for the most part, and who knows which accounts are real and which are fake. I think the number of fake profiles online is probably more than the real ones, and Allāh knows best!
In particular, I have had more that one sister who is divorced with children communicate with me, and yes, I am 44-45 years old and I have experience in life, so I can naturally read between the lines.
The divorced sisters in question are lonely, they probably came out of a toxic relationship, and are looking for a MASCULINE and RESPONSIBLE man to take care of them. I understand and completely empathize with that. And being divorced should in no way make us responsible men hesitate to consider those sisters.
These very same sisters, for example, know and see that I am already married. Again, they don't care, because they see someone who is older and more mature and already married for that matter as someone responsible. Again, nothing wrong with that, that is why in our religion of Islām we have polygyny or polygamy, call it whatever you like.
My sisters, you want to get married, that is fine and all brothers who are responsible and able should be MAN enough to take care you of you and yours. But here is the thing, even from my own personal experience.
Many times, my sisters, you are contacting a brother whom you deem the man you are looking for, but who lives on the other side of the world. So if you are looking to get married, you have to be reasonable and realistic, especially if you want to become part of a plural marriage.
The other thing is that you should have your guardian be involved in this process, don't just randomly contact someone online, even if you feel attracted to him. Why? Because you have never met in-person to know what kind of a person he really is. The issue of compatibility is really important in a marriage, it is equally as important as looks and love.
Again, I am not shaming, but those dear sisters who contacted me personally expressing interest, out of nowhere, would send me their pictures unannounced, are you kidding me? You don't even know me or that other brother online, and yet, you trust him and send him pictures of yourself? And for what? To attract him and get his attention? Look, if this brother is OK with you sending him your pictures, then he is NOT for you. On a personal level, I have expressed disapproval to those sisters who sent me their photos via messenger.
May Allāh grant us the wisdom and understanding, again, I am not shaming anyone here, I understand the complexity of feelings and attraction. A lot of men today, unfortunately, do not present themselves as real men, let's be honest about it. I am constantly advising my sisters in Islām on issues of modesty and the like, but hey, let me end it this way.
BROTHERS - fear Allāh and advise your sisters as if they are your own.
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