Navigating Online Marriage Proposals: Essential Advice for Muslim Sisters

Important Guidance for Sisters in Islam on Online Marriage Proposals and Polygyny

Human nature does not get old, this is important advice in none other than online marriage proposals and polygyny.  It must be renewed and the reminders are important.  Please read and share.

I have a confession/advice to make here - marriage proposals online

This advice, I am making to my dear sisters in Islām, and I do this because I have experienced this as did others on this platform.  This is not a form of shaming at all, just your brother watching out for you.

I have been on social media since 2015 and I have had sisters contact me privately.  I wasn't born yesterday, when a sister casually contacts a brother who is an influencer, unless she genuinely has a question to ask, she is actually expressing interest in him directly or indirectly.  Is anything wro3ng with that?  Is anything wrong with a sister liking a brother?  No, it is a matter of the heart.  Now here's the thing.

The messaging that takes place is a type of seclusion.  On social media, we are strangers for the most part, and who knows which accounts are real and which are fake.  I think the number of fake profiles online is probably more than the real ones, and Allāh knows best!

In particular, I have had more that one sister who is divorced with children communicate with me, and yes, I am 44-45 years old and I have experience in life, so I can naturally read between the lines.

The divorced sisters in question are lonely, they probably came out of a toxic relationship, and are looking for a MASCULINE and RESPONSIBLE man to take care of them.  I understand and completely empathize with that.  And being divorced should in no way make us responsible men hesitate to consider those sisters.

These very same sisters, for example, know and see that I am already married.  Again, they don't care, because they see someone who is older and more mature and already married for that matter as someone responsible.  Again, nothing wrong with that, that is why in our religion of Islām we have polygyny or polygamy, call it whatever you like.

My sisters, you want to get married, that is fine and all brothers who are responsible and able should be MAN enough to take care you of you and yours.  But here is the thing, even from my own personal experience.

Many times, my sisters, you are contacting a brother whom you deem the man you are looking for, but who lives on the other side of the world.  So if you are looking to get married, you have to be reasonable and realistic, especially if you want to become part of a plural marriage.

The other thing is that you should have your guardian be involved in this process, don't just randomly contact someone online, even if you feel attracted to him.  Why?  Because you have never met in-person to know what kind of a person he really is.  The issue of compatibility is really important in a marriage, it is equally as important as looks and love.

Again, I am not shaming, but those dear sisters who contacted me personally expressing interest, out of nowhere, would send me their pictures unannounced, are you kidding me?  You don't even know me or that other brother online, and yet, you trust him and send him pictures of yourself?  And for what?  To attract him and get his attention?  Look, if this brother is OK with you sending him your pictures, then he is NOT for you.  On a personal level, I have expressed disapproval to those sisters who sent me their photos via messenger.

May Allāh grant us the wisdom and understanding, again, I am not shaming anyone here, I understand the complexity of feelings and attraction.  A lot of men today, unfortunately, do not present themselves as real men, let's be honest about it.  I am constantly advising my sisters in Islām on issues of modesty and the like, but hey, let me end it this way.

BROTHERS - fear Allāh and advise your sisters as if they are your own.

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What is the ruling on custody of kids, if a divorced woman remarries

If a divorced woman remarries the kids custody will be given to their real father:

Ibn Al-Mundhir (may Allah have mercy on him) narrated that there was scholarly consensus that the mother’s right to custody is forfeited if she remarries . (See: Al-Kafi by Ibn ‘Abd Al-Barr, 1/296; Al-Mughni, 8/194) 

This is indicated by the Hadith of Abdullah ibn Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) according to whom a woman said: O Messenger of Allah, my womb was a vessel for this son of mine, and my breasts gave him to drink, and my lap was a refuge for him, but his father has divorced me and he wants to take him away from me. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to her: “You have more right to him so long as you do not remarry.” (Narrated by Ahmad (6707) and Abu Dawud (2276); classed as sound by Al-Albani in Sahih Abu Dawud, and classed as sound by Ibn Katheer in Irshad Al-Faqih (2/250))

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Some Halal and Haram acts in marriage

It is halaal (permissible) for a widow or a divorcee to marry again - it is haraam (prohibited) for YOU to gossip about her 'character' if she does.

It is halaal for a woman to ask for khulaa' (divorce) if she cannot stay in the relationship in a healthy manner any longer - it is haraam for YOU to backbite and raise questions about her femininity, loyalty and nature.

It is halaal for a woman to raise her voice if she is going through domestic abuse, torture and blackmail - it is hypocrisy for YOU to tell her to bear with it because she is a woman!

It is halaal for a woman to ask for her mahr from the husband the moment she gets married - it is shameful for YOU to expect her to "forgive" the mahr if she wants to be called a 'good' woman..

Get out of your little holes and stand up for JUSTICE, TRUTH AND ISLAM! Enough of your cultural, scared, and humiliating tactics to make me believe Islam has done this to me. Nay! Every time you do not stand up for my sisters when they are abused and misused, YOU ARE ACCOUNTABLE.

Either have the courage to practice the true teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) or 

for the Sake of your self -STAY OUT OF IT

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An Advice To Sister's Who Aren’t Married, And To Men Responsible Over Her...!!

Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen رَحِمَهُ ٱللَّٰهُ Said:

I advise women in regard to marriage not to choose any man except one who has faith and character.

I advise women not to be hasty in accepting the one who asks for her hand until every aspect of him has been explored.

Fatwa’ Noor ‘Alaa ad-Darb, 10/31

+ It’s important to note that for you sisters, you will not be able to correctly judge another man by yourself, especially if it’s a man who you are interested in. 

Imām Ibn Al-Qayyim رحمه الله stated:

"Following the desires blinds the eye of the heart."

Al-Fawāid 101

Leave this Task to your Wali Who’s Responsible over You, if they however Judge him Incorrectly or Refuse him Without a Valid Reason, take your case to a Judge.

#Nikah

#Advice

#ShareTheKhyr 

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Excessive Mahr is a sign of Jahl

Ultimately, the Mahr is a matter of negotiation and agreement between the bride and groom, taking into consideration their personal circumstances and needs, cultural norms, and financial capabilities. However, Sheikhul Islam Ibn Taymiyyāh rahimahullah said: “Whoever increases his daughter’s Mahr beyond the Prophet’s ﷺ daughter’s is a Jāḥil (ignorant).” [Majmū’ Al-Fatāwā, 32/194]

‎What was the Mahr of the Prophet's wives and daughters? 

 

قَالَ عُمَرُ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ رضي الله عنه: لاَ تُغَالُوا صَدَاقَ النِّسَاءِ؛ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوًى عِنْدَ اللهِ كَانَ أَوْلاَكُمْ وَأَحَقَّكُمْ بِهَا مُحَمَّدٌ ﷺ، مَا أَصْدَقَ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلاَ أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنِ اثْنَتَىْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً، وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُثَقِّلُ صَدَقَةَ امْرَأَتِهِ حَتَّى يَكُونَ لَهَا عَدَاوَةٌ فِي نَفْسِهِ وَيَقُولُ قَدْ كَلِفْتُ إِلَيْكِ عَلَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ أَوْ عَرَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ.‏ 

  

Narrated ’Umar ibn Al-Khaṭṭāb: “Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honor and dignity in this world or a sign of Taqwa before Allāh, then Muḥammad ﷺ would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives and none of his daughters were given more than twelve ūqiyyah [around 480 Dirhams (1 Dirham = 3g of silver), and in the ḥadīth of Ā'ishah (Muslim) she stated that the Mahr given to the Prophet's wives was 500 Dirhams]. A man may increase dowry until he feels resentment against her and says: “You cost me everything I own,” or, “You caused me a great deal of hardship.” [Sunan Ibn Majah, 1887 - graded "Sahih" by Sheikh Albāni] 

NOTE: At the same time, it is unwise to make the Mahr so low that unscrupulous men get married too casually, not understanding the value of marriage. This can lead them into thinking that they can get an easy divorce with little consequence if things don’t work out.

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Something important about Love and marriage

We all have fantasies about marriage right ? But When you get married, it won't be easy, it won't be a walk in the park either, you'll have good days and bad days. Some days your spouse will only give 30%, some days you'll have to pick up and give the remaining 70%, some days you'll wake up feeling like you can only give 10%. It's a compromise, marriage isn't a *fairytale*, it isn't an achievement either, marriage to me, is a different direction of life. Marriage to me is a different path, it's a different way of living. It's a blessing from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to get married and complete half your deen, but don't look down on those who are not married yet.

Marriage is understanding that every day will bring new challenges. It won't be all holidays and long trips away and loving each other every second of every single day. It's about realising that love, respect and boundaries are exactly what you need in marriage, compromising and understanding and respecting each other and not giving up when times get tough and you feel a little bit rough.

Marriage is knowing that it doesn't matter what storms come and try to ruin your foundation, you will be there to support one another. Marriage isn't easy, it's not all roses and pretty gifts and lavish luxury holidays. Marriage is love, compromise and knowing that at the end of each hard day, you've got one another to lean on.

Remember to love someone is different and then to live with them is different, to get married  is the most difficult, most important and the biggest decision of your Life. So be rational and not emotional because it's the matter of this duniyah and aakhirah!

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14 RULES THAT SHOULD GUIDE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

1. Never push a loyal woman to the point where she no longer cares

2. There is a difference between somebody who wants you and somebody who would do anything to keep you. Remember that.

3. Communication and trust are important if you want to secure your spot in someone’s heart

4. Never fall in love with someone who left his girl for you because he might do the same and leave you for someone else

.

5. A real man never gives up on the woman he loves with all his heart, no matter how much it hurts.

6. Don’t play with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of your own.

7. One of the worst mistakes you’ll make is walking away from the person who stood there and waited for you

8. Just because one man treated you badly doesn’t mean all men will. Get this into your skull.

9. Be careful what you say. A girl remembers everything. They will never the good words have ever said to them but they will remember the bad ones you have ever spoken that is women.

10. When two people care about each other, they will always look for a way to make it work.

11. Love someone who loves you too.

12. So you better stop crying now.

13. Letting go isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you’re strong enough to move on.

14. It’s better to be alone for the right reasons than to be with someone for the wrong reasons. I sincerely have found out that any person who always sees reasons to give flimsy excuses is a great liar, be far from such a person.

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Leadership in Marriage 

When it comes to our society’s understanding of Muslim marriages we more often than not confuse the term Leadership with Dictatorship. Both men and women are guilty of doing this, especially when they try to interpret the following verse of the Quran relating to men:

ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْۚ فَٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتُ قَٰنِتَٰتٌ حَٰفِظَٰتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُۚ ....

Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allāh has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allāh would have them guard... [Qur'an 4:34]

In this verse Allah has placed the bulk of the responsibility of the household on the shoulders of the men and husbands in a relationship. This is because men have more physical strength than the other and have the ability to support women. However, this does not mean that Allah has made the men dictators over women and given them free reign on how to treat women. It does NOT mean that men can mistreat their wives and not give them their due rights. Allah has mentioned in the Quran on numerous occasions that women are to be treated nicely "And live with them in kindness." – He says in Surah An-Nisaa ayah 19.

So we must understand that Allah has given men the role of Leadership in marriage, not a dictatorship. A leader is a person who not only heads the management of the affairs of whatever they are dealing with but inspires their team, motivates them and takes opinions from them.

The role of a leader in a Muslim marriage is hence no different. The husband takes care of his wife and family, makes decisions in the best interest of the family but he is also required to consult his wife before doing so, as did the Holy Prophet (ﷺ). If the wife disagrees with a decision of the husband, he should ponder over her reasoning and not overtake her thinking and go about it anyway. He should respect the opinions of his wife, no matter how smart a decision maker he is. The husband must not misuse his position and must act only according to the Quran and Sunnah.

That is what a true leader is. A husband who inspires his wife to work for the betterment of the family, who makes her do things because she herself wants to do them, THAT is the definition of a leader who is a husband in Islam, not someone who oppresses his wife so much, she has no say in the matter. Motivate, Inspire and Lead.

#fawaid

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MEN want a righteous woman but are you yourself as righteous as you want your future wife to be? 

It’s sad when I see brothers flirting, chatting away with non mahram women.  Going to places where it’s haram.  Have foul language, smoking, vaping etc. 

When you ask these brothers what type of wife they want. They reply “A righteous, upright, pious one”

I only have one question for such people, How do you expect a righteous spouse while you yourself are far away from deen❗️

On the other Hand, We have other kind of breed on Social Media known as "Alpha Males"  with toxic masculinity who consider themselves as Something like they are king or what in dominating position and always criticise women, disregarding  and considering them as Slut or Whore  (Allāh's refugee is sought) and tend to create an image of women as if they are criminal or what. Subhan Allāh ❗️

As a Muslim, our sole Ideal should be Prophet Muhammad ﷺ - How he treated everybody especially women!

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allāh ﷺ said

أَكْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا وَخِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ خُلُقًا

The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women.

📖 Sunan al Tirmidhī 1162 | Sahīh 

Always remember, Good men are for good women,  and Good women are for Good men

If you want a Pious Spouse, then be pious and free from Haram relationships first.

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THE COMMAND TO MARRY AND ALLĀH'S PROMISE TO ENRICH THE ONE SEEKING CHASTITY THROUGH MARRIAGE

THE COMMAND TO MARRY AND ALLĀH'S PROMISE TO ENRICH THE ONE SEEKING CHASTITY THROUGH MARRIAGE

These clear Ayat include a group of unambiguous rulings and firm commands.

وَأَنكِحُوا الاْأَيَامَى مِنكُمْ

And marry the unmarried among you

This is a command to marry.

The Prophet ﷺ said: "O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him marry, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and protecting the private parts. Whoever cannot do that, then let him fast, for it is a protection for him."

This was recorded in the Two Sahihs from the Hadith of Ibn Masud.

In the Sunan, it was recorded from more than one person that the Messenger of ALLĀH ﷺ said: "Marry and have children, for I will be proud of you before the nations on the Day of Resurrection."

وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَايِكُمْ

And the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves.

إِن يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاء يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ

If they are poor, ALLĀH will enrich them out of HIS bounty. 

Ali bin Abi Talhah reported from Ibn Abbas: "ALLĀH encouraged them to get married, commanded both free men and servants to get married, and HE promised to enrich them."

It was recorded that Ibn Masud said:

"Seek the richness through marriage, for ALLĀH says:

وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَايِكُمْ

If they be poor, ALLĀH will enrich them out of His bounty" {Ibn Jarir}

It was reported from Al-Layth from Muhammad bin Ajlan from Sa`id Al-Maqburi from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of ALLĀH ﷺ said: "There are three whom it is a right upon ALLĀH to help: one who gets married seeking chastity; a slave who makes a contract with his master with the aim of buying his freedom; and one who fights for the sake of ALLĀH."

This was recorded by Imam Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi, An-Nasa'i and Ibn Majah.

The Prophet performed the marriage of a man who owned nothing but his waist wrap, and could not even buy a ring made of iron, but he still married him to that woman, making the Mahr his promise to teach her whatever he knew of the Qur'an.

And it is known from the generosity and kindness of ALLĀH that HE provided him with whatever was sufficient for her and for him.

{Tafsi‌r Ibn Kathir}

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“HOW TO PREPARE ONESELF FOR MARRIAGE”

My answer: to be the best version of yourself. Physically, mentally and spiritually. 

Physically: Live a healthier lifestyle and you’ll see your body transform and evolve. 

Ways to do this: 

1) Start eating healthier. 

2) Get a personalized workout program 

3) Be more active throughout the day. Example: Go for daily walks if you can. 

It’s important that to take care of your image before you get married. Your husband will inshaAllah love you for who you are however to prepare for marriage try to be the best you. Don’t neglect your health/body. Work on improving it for yourself and inshaAllah future husband.

Mentally: Study what is your Islamic duty in a marriage. What is your role. You need to understand what marriage is and be prepared to fulfil your role and duty. There are many Islamic books and courses you can do to educate yourself & prepare yourself mentally. 

Spiritually: become the best Muslimah you can be. Rectify yourself. If there are sins you are committing then work on stopping them. Increase in good deeds. Perfect your obligations. 

The better woman you become the better man you will marry inshaAllah

Lastly MAKE SO MUCH DUA!

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Finding True Partnership: Sufyan ath-Thawri's Wise Approach to Marriage in Islam

He Rejected a Queen: Sufyan ath-Thawri's Unconventional Search for a Wife

Mansur ibn Sabiq said:

An inhabitant of Basrah tried to convince Sufyan ath-Thawri to get married.

Sufyan’s simple reply was this:

 “Then find me someone to marry.”

Having agreed that the Basri man should try to find a suitable match for him, Sufyan traveled to Makkah.

Meanwhile, the Basri man returned to Al-Basrah and proposed on behalf of Sufyan to the daughter of one of the wealthiest men of Al-Basrah.

Their family was wealthy and of noble lineage.

The girl’s father readily agreed to the match, and a caravan filled with servants and wealth was prepared for him, so that she could travel to her prospective husband.

The Basri man went to Sufyan and said, “Shall I conduct the marriage contract?”

Sufyan asked: “With whom (am I getting married)?”

The Basri man said “The daughter of so-and-so.”

Sufyan said: “I do not need her! I asked you to find me a wife who is my equal in status.”

So he replied, “But the girl’s family agreed to the marriage. Money is not an issue (they are aware of your financial status).” Sufyan refused.

The man said: “Will you disgrace me in front of my people? Money is not an issue.” Sufyan refused.

So the man asked: “Then what should I do?”

Sufyan answered: “Return to them and tell them that I have no need to marry her.”

So the man went to the family and told them what Sufyān had said.

The girl asked, “What makes him dislike me?”

So the man replied, “Wealth!”

So she said: “Then I will get rid of all my wealth and I will live patiently alongside him.”

The man was elated; and he went to Sufyān to tell him the good news.

To which Sufyan replied, “I do not need her. A woman who was raised as a queen and who has always led a comfortable life will not patiently endure this life (that I lead).”

He thus refused to marry her, and she left Makkah and returned to Al-Basrah.

Ibn Abi Hatim, Jarh wa Ta'dil 1/90

Sufyan ath-Thawri, Tafsir 1/29

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If he is asking for sex as a prove of love, he's just after sex or just to deprive you of your chances of entering paradis

If he is asking for sex as a prove of love, he's just after sex or just to deprive you of your chances of entering paradise. 

Sex between two people not legally married according to the teachings of ISLAM is a sin even if both both parties agrees to it or even if everyone is doing it. 

A sin remains a sin even if everyone is doing it! nothing is good between two lovers like marriage. 

If he threatens to break up with you because you denied him sex, then happily break up with him because he's just an egoistic agent of Satan trying to make you disobey God!

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The Importance of Strong Relationships in Marriage

Overcoming Challenges in Marriage

Bad Company Ruins Good Marriages: 

The people we surround ourselves with can have a profound impact on our marriages. 

Your relationships with others can either uplift and strengthen you, or drag you down and cause you to compromise your values. 

It's important for married couples to be mindful of the company they keep and to cultivate relationships with those who will encourage and support their marriage. 

Surrounding yourselves with people who have strong, healthy marriages can serve as a positive influence and help you to grow together as a couple. 

At the same time, it's equally important to distance yourselves from those who might bring negative influence and drama into your life. 

By being intentional about the company you keep, you can protect your marriage and ensure that it continues to thrive. "Bad company ruins good morals"

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Finding Love According to Islamic Principles: Tips for Seeking a Righteous Partner

Seeking Guidance: Istikhara as a Powerful Tool for Finding the Right Spouse

Do not be in haste to fall in love. Remember dating is completely forbidden in Islam. 

Take your time to fall in love and ask Allah through istikhara to grant you a true lover, partner and someone who will treat you like the king you are or like the Queen that you are. Falling in love with the wrong person is the worst nightmare you wouldn't like to experience so don't be in haste. 

Love is sweet, love is life, love is joy, love is happiness but when you love the wrong person, expect misery!

 May Allah increase love between couples in the group, and bless those seeking for love with true love!

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What is the ruling on Marriage contract over the phone

Marriage contract over the phone!

Question: He says, O Esteemed Shaykh, may Allāh grant you success: Is it permissible for me to conclude my marriage contract with my wife’s father over the phone? 

Answered by Shaykh Ṣāliḥ al-Fawzān حفظه الله:

No! Not over the phone! It is necessary to be present [physically] during the marriage contract in order to hear the marriage offer and acceptance; the husband, the guardian, and the witnesses must all be present during the marriage contract.

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Guidelines and Prohibitions in Islamic Marriage: A Comprehensive Overview

Understanding Islamic Marriage Guidelines and Prohibitions

* It is forbidden for a husband and wife to speak to anyone else about the intimate details of their relationship. (Astaghfirullah- this is common this days)

* It is forbidden for a man to take any part of his wife's mahr without her consent, or to put pressure on her to give up her money.

* It is forbidden to remain celibate and never marry.

* To be castrated.

* To marry two sisters at the same time.

* To marry a woman and her paternal aunt or maternal aunt at the same time - regardless of which is married first - for fear of breaking the ties of kinship.

* For a man to marry his father's wife.

* It is forbidden to make deals in marriage, such as saying, "Marry your daughter or sister to me and I will give you my daughter or sister in marriage", because this exchange is wrongful oppression and is haraam. 

* It is forbidden to enter into mut'ah (temporary) marriage, which is a marriage for a period of time agreed upon by both parties, after which the marriage is over.

* It is forbidden to marry except with a wali (guardian of the bride) and two witnesses.

* For a man to propose to a woman when his (Muslim) brother has already proposed, unless the first suitor gives up the idea or gives him permission.

* To make a clearly-stated offer of marriage to a woman who is in iddah because her husband has died, although it is acceptable to hint. 

* It is forbidden to make any kind of offer of marriage at all to a woman who has been divorced (talaaq) once or twice (as she may still return to her husband). 

* It is forbidden for a divorced woman whose divorce is still revocable to go out of her husband's house or to leave during her 'iddah. 

* It is forbidden for a man to keep his divorced wife or to take her back when he does not care for her, because this will only prolong the pain for her and cause her anguish.

* It is forbidden for a divorced woman to conceal what Allah has created in her womb. 

* It is forbidden to treat the matter of divorce lightly. 

* It is forbidden for a woman to ask for the divorce of another, whether she is married or engaged, so that she can marry the man instead. 

* It is forbidden to make a woman hate her husband or vice versa. 

* The Prophet (ﷺ) forbade men to speak to women without their husbands' permission. 

* It is forbidden for a woman to spend her husband's money without his permission.

* for a woman to forsake her husband's bed, because if she does this without a valid excuse, the angels will curse her. 

* It is forbidden for a man to annoy a rebellious wife who has come back to obeying him. 

* It is forbidden for a woman to let anyone into her husband's house without his permission, although his general permission is sufficient so long as the rules of sharee'ah are not broken.

* It is forbidden to refuse an invitation to a waleemah (wedding party) with no legitimate excuse.

* To wish a newly-married couple "bi'l-rafaa' wa'l-baneen" (wishing them happiness and many sons), because this is the greeting of Jaahiliyyah, and the people of Jaahiliyyah used to dislike daughters.

* It is forbidden for a man to have intercourse with a woman who is pregnant from another man.

* For a man to withdraw from his wife (coitus interrupts) without her permission.

* For a man to knock on the door and startle his family when returning at night from a journey - but if he has already told them what time he will arrive, there is nothing wrong with it.

* The practice of zihaar (a jaahili form of divorce in which a man said to his wife, "You are to me like my mother's back") is forbidden. 

* It is forbidden for a man to show a preference for one of two wives, or to be unfair in dealing with his wives. 

* It is forbidden to enter into nikaah al-tahleel, which is where a thrice-divorced woman (i.e., one who has received the third and final talaaq) gets married so that she can then be divorced by the second husband and be free to remarry her first husband.

Wallahualam.

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The Most Important Factors for a Woman in Choosing a Husband in Islam

Question: What are the most important factors for a woman in choosing a husband? If she rejects a righteous man for some worldly reasons, will she be punished by Allaah?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

The most important factors for a woman in choosing a husband are his attitude/behaviour and his commitment to religion. 

Wealth and lineage are secondary matters. The most important thing is that the potential husband should be religious and have a good attitude, because if a man has religious commitment and a good attitude, a woman has nothing to lose: if he keeps her (remains married to her), he will keep her on a reasonable basis, and if he divorces her, he will set her free on a reasonable basis. 

Moreover, a man who is religious and has a good attitude will be a blessing to her and her children, for they will learn good manners and religion from him. 

But if the prospective husband is not like that (is not religious), she should keep away from him, especially those who take the matter of prayer lightly or who are known to drink alcohol. We seek refuge with Allaah.

As for those who do not pray at all, they are kuffaar and it is not permissible for them to marry believing women. 

It is important for the woman to focus on the matter of attitude and religious commitment. With regard to the matter of lineage, this is a bonus. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you (to propose marriage to your daughter etc.) a man with whose religious commitment and attitude you are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him.”

But if you can manage to ensure compatibility (in terms of lineage and socio-economic status, etc.) as well, then this is better...🙂🥀

And Also Remember that “Rizq is not always money, rizq is a pious wife/husband, who cares of you.”🥀❤️

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I am 20 and want to get Married but my parents are not looking for a Groom | Nikah question answer

Shaykh I am 20 and want to get Married but my parents are not looking for a Groom.

When Allaah decrees something, He creates causes, everything has a Time, seek Aid in Allaah, work on yourself, NEVER lose Hope.

When the right time comes, Allaah will decree.

The One you worship at night, The One that you make sujood for, The One that you seek Aid in in all of your matters is the one that will aid you to find a righteous Spouse, Never Lose hope.

~Shaykh Muhammed Eid Al Muhyri

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Beyond Superficiality: The Beauty of Love and Compatibility in Islamic Marriages

Embracing Allah's Plan: True Beauty and Love in Islamic Marriages

Mostly after Nikah's or Waleemas, folk comment on the married couple.

-They don't match at all.

-Groom is a little too short.

-Bride is too dark for the groom.

-Ugly.

-The bride looks too old for him.

Subhan'Allah, Who are we to judge the plans and creations of Allah SWT? Who are we insulting?

-Who said these comments matter in the first place?

Just imagine if the couple happen to hear these words, they might even be embarassed to stand next to their partner.

Remember, It's love in the hearts that matter. They were brought together for a reason, not based on their looks.

If we really do need to make a comment, make a dua that Allah SWT should beautify each other for them, so they may always be in love, and that they be each others path to Jannah.

May Allah SWT soften our hearts to always think of good Ameen.

#Nikah #Bride #Groom

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