The Etiquette of Du'a: Why Asking Others for Prayers is Discouraged in Islam

Understanding the Islamic Perspective on Requesting Du'a from Others

Don't make a habit of requesting du'a from others 

Ibrāhīm An-Nakha’ē, may Allah have mercy on him, said: 

«كانوا يجلسون ويتذاكرون العلم والخير ثم يتفرقون، لا يستغفر بعضهم لبعض، ولا يقول: يا فلان ادع لي». 

"They used to sit together, discuss knowledge and goodness, and then disperse without asking each other for forgiveness or saying, 'O so-and-so, make du'a for me.'" 

[Kitāb Al-'ilm of Ibn Abī Khaythamah (36)] 

Sheikh Bakr Abu Zayd, may Allah have mercy on him, said: "People have become very expansive in requesting du'a from others, especially at farewells: 'Make du'a for us,' '[I seek] your Du'a,' even if the person addressed is a sinner. Some of the pious predecessors disliked this practice. Ibn Rajab, may Allah have mercy on him, noted that many of the pious predecessors disliked being asked to make du'a for others, and would say to those who asked them, 'What am I?' Among those from whom this has been reported are Umar ibn Al-Khattab and Ḥudhayfah ibn Al-Yaman, may Allah be pleased with them, as well as Mālik ibn Dīnār. An-Nakha’ē also disliked being asked for prayers. A man wrote to Aḥmad ibn Ḥanbal asking him to make du'a for him, to which Aḥmad replied, 'If we make du'a for you, then who will make du'a for us?'" 

[Mu'jam Al-Manāhi al-Lafdhiyyah (p. 87)] 

Sheikhul Islām Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, explained that while requesting du'a is permissible, it is contrary to what is preferable and better for a Muslim. The preferable approach is to turn directly to Allah and not resort to asking His creation for anything, even for du'a. He supported this view with several points:

1. The general evidence that discourages asking others and encourages reliance on Allah alone, as any form of request, no matter how small, entails a type of humility. A Muslim should humble himself only before Allah Almighty.

2. There is a fear that asking others for du'a could lead to the establishment of intermediaries between the Creator and the creation. The foundation of the doctrine of monotheism is the denial of intermediaries and intercessors, and the reliance solely on the Lord of all causes, Glorified and Exalted be He. 

[Refer to: "Majmoo' al-Fataawa" (1/181-193)]

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