He Rejected a Queen: Sufyan ath-Thawri's Unconventional Search for a Wife
Mansur ibn Sabiq said:An inhabitant of Basrah tried to convince Sufyan ath-Thawri to get married.
Sufyan’s simple reply was this:
“Then find me someone to marry.”
Having agreed that the Basri man should try to find a suitable match for him, Sufyan traveled to Makkah.
Meanwhile, the Basri man returned to Al-Basrah and proposed on behalf of Sufyan to the daughter of one of the wealthiest men of Al-Basrah.
Their family was wealthy and of noble lineage.
The girl’s father readily agreed to the match, and a caravan filled with servants and wealth was prepared for him, so that she could travel to her prospective husband.
The Basri man went to Sufyan and said, “Shall I conduct the marriage contract?”
Sufyan asked: “With whom (am I getting married)?”
The Basri man said “The daughter of so-and-so.”
Sufyan said: “I do not need her! I asked you to find me a wife who is my equal in status.”
So he replied, “But the girl’s family agreed to the marriage. Money is not an issue (they are aware of your financial status).” Sufyan refused.
The man said: “Will you disgrace me in front of my people? Money is not an issue.” Sufyan refused.
So the man asked: “Then what should I do?”
Sufyan answered: “Return to them and tell them that I have no need to marry her.”
So the man went to the family and told them what Sufyān had said.
The girl asked, “What makes him dislike me?”
So the man replied, “Wealth!”
So she said: “Then I will get rid of all my wealth and I will live patiently alongside him.”
The man was elated; and he went to Sufyān to tell him the good news.
To which Sufyan replied, “I do not need her. A woman who was raised as a queen and who has always led a comfortable life will not patiently endure this life (that I lead).”
He thus refused to marry her, and she left Makkah and returned to Al-Basrah.
Ibn Abi Hatim, Jarh wa Ta'dil 1/90
Sufyan ath-Thawri, Tafsir 1/29
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